It's A Social Game

So... Just after writing the previous, I write this next post, which is not only about meeting girls, and involves "community" language and concepts, but is written in reference to other recent posts on another "community" board.

Well, whatever. It's good shit, and the most I've written in a while, and places things in context, so it is reproduced here.

Thing 1:

From Merriam-Websters:

dominance: 1: the fact or state of being dominant: as
a: dominant position especially in a social hierarchy

dominant:
1 a: commanding, controlling, or prevailing over all others
b: very important, powerful, or successful
2: overlooking and commanding from a superior position

Thing 2a:

Long before the community existed, I worked in a restaurant. I was in the kitchen one day with 2 waitresses. They watched through a crack in the door as a man entered. "Ohhhh, he's handsome! Look how nicely he's dressed!!" they cooed.

"Oh...but he's alone," one of them said, disappointed, and then the two of them turned away from the door and went about their work.

"Wait, what? Just because he's alone, you guys aren't interested?" Back then, this did not make ANY sense to me. Having only my own masculine model of attraction, I had no frame of reference for this.

"If he's alone, we figure there's something wrong with him," the other girl said.

Thing 2b:

Some months before finding the community, a female friend told me, "Okay, you want to know the deal with the bad boy? The nice guy will fall in love with anybody. The bad boy can have anybody he wants, but he wants you."

Can you connect the Things?

We refer often to the concept of "Social Proof" here, and in Things 2a and 2b, a woman's attraction to a man is dependent on "Social Proof."

But while we use the term "Social Proof," what we are really working with, in terms of generating attraction with women, is PROOF OF SOCIAL DOMINANCE.

Dominance is a term used to describe the relationship of one entity to another. A single person, in isolation, can be neither dominant, nor submissive. When talking about people, therefore, dominance is, by definition, a social concept.

MOST of the terms/concepts we use in talking about generating attraction with women could be placed under the heading of Dominance.

"Who is controlling the frame of the interaction" - Who is most dominant

"Who is not reacting to the other person as much" - Who is most dominant

"Who has the stronger reality" - Who is most dominant

Etc.

The particulars are all ways of describing, relating, or teaching dominant behavior.

In Thing 2a, the presence of a woman with the man would imply, to the women, a measure of dominance, socially. Similarly, the absence of a woman implies, to the women, a lack of dominance.

In Thing 2b, we again have the case of the "nice guy" who has no dominance, therefore, no women, and will "fall in love with anyone." And then we have the contrast of the "bad boy" who can have "anybody he wants," and thus has a LOT of dominance, SOCIAL DOMINANCE, and therefore holds more attraction for women.

In one-on-one game, or with "lone wolves," we use things like frame control, AR control, "be the prize" etc., to express our dominance in relation to the woman. This ALSO implies dominance in a larger social context.

If a 23 year old virgin who rarely socializes and has never read or heard one word of PUA advice goes out tonight to try to get laid, how likely is he to accomplish that? How likely is he to behave in a dominant fashion with the woman? Not fucking likely.

But let's say he starts reading, starts going out, starts approaching, gets his field experience (socialization), and starts putting what he's read into practice (practicing dominant behavior). He'll get numbers. He'll get makeouts. He'll get lays. He will eventually hear things like:

Thing 3a: "You're used to getting what you want!"

Thing 3b: "How many girlfriends do you have?"

I have heard both of these and many variations, and laid the girl.

This is the woman placing the man within a larger social context in her mind. You are not only expressing your dominance with relation to her, you are expressing your dominance in relation to the other men that she knows, and the other women that you know/have known. She might decide you are worth a ONS, or worth hanging out with, but she is placing you within that context.

She is not stuck with the least ugly guy who approaches her, but with the most dominant.

Being able to be dominant with ONE woman implies that your confidence is based on successfully being dominant with other women in the past. Naturals are guys who have had positive reactions from women virtually all their lives, and are NATURALLY DOMINANT. PUAs learn the behavior later. Nonetheless, the presence of dominant behavior with her implies, in her mind, dominance SOCIALLY in your life on a wider scale (See Things 3a and 3b).

In a larger social context, we use "Social Proof" to demonstrate Social Dominance directly. Women are around you. They're laughing, playing with their hair, touching you, rubbing the stem of their cocktail glasses. Other women note, in the body language, that you are more dominant (laid back) and the women are more submissive to you. Social Dominance, demonstrated. This obviously implies to any woman watching that you will behave in a dominant manner with her.

So this is why I, and other guys who engage women in these environments, have many times over experienced women coming up to us, hovering, making eye contact, bumping into them, etc., as well as why we can escalate much faster from that point. Your Social Dominance has already been demonstrated. She's already attracted. Your tests will be fewer and further between.

It is a two-way street. Dominance with the individual woman (lone wolf) implies dominance in the larger social context, and dominance in the larger social context implies dominance toward the individual woman. In fact, DOMINANCE IN THE LARGER SOCIAL CONTEXT IS MORE LIKELY TO IMPLY DOMINANCE WITH THE INDIVIDUAL, THAN DOMINANCE WITH THE INDIVIDUAL IS MORE LIKELY TO IMPLY DOMINANCE ON A LARGER SCALE. It is more trustworthy. But this functions on the principle that the macrocosm mirrors the microcosm. As above, so below.

Failing tests in an individual context will place your dominance on a wider scale in jeopardy, just as lacking dominance in a large social context will make your approaches less "warm" and will earn you more testing up front.

Men do not react to Social Proof by becoming attracted to a woman because men do not naturally react to dominant behavior by becoming sexually attracted--except perhaps in cases of fetishism.

Thing 4:

GP: I realized that when a girl is shit testing me for jealousy by hanging on another guy and looking for my reaction, she is judging my social position.

Her: Yep. And, at least in my experience, they will only fuck UP the ladder. Unless it's a girl who likes submissive men, that is.

The game is about Dominance, whether you're dealing with one woman or a group of women. "Social Proof" works and generates attraction because it is a direct expression of Dominance in a large social context. The various "techniques" that work in attracting "lone wolves" work because they demonstrate Dominance in a more limited context. It is the same quality of presence being demonstrated in two different contexts.

Further reading:

Hitori's classic, Social Status/Women Explained:

http://www.fastseduction.com/cgi-bin/search.cgi?action=retrieve&grp=8&mn=1096448008178831&refine=subject%3DWomen%2520Explained%26author%3DHitori%26datefrom%3D%26body%3D%26dateto%3D

GP

Not a "Community" Blog

Okay, here's something...

When I look back over even the few posts that I've left here on the blog, I'm actually a bit embarassed by the way I used the term "game" and "gaming." Honestly, it sounds kind of sleazy and playerish and awkward, like you're getting something over on someone. Picking up, or dating (yes, I used that word) a girl is not like that. If done properly, it is a Win for both of you.

If it is a "game" it is a "team game." They're rooting for you to win, guys. They REALLY don't want you to be just another weirdo.

I don't really want to be associated with the "PUA Community." Not disowning the truly cool guys out there, or looking down on anyone wanting to learn how to get better with women. That's all fine. But I think the signal to noise ratio of the information out there is really rather high. It appears there are guys out there who will wait by the bathroom for a girl to leave her friends so he can hit on her without interference. That is Really Fucking Creepy.

Having said that, beautiful women are one of the things I truly enjoy about life, and so there will always be some measure of content here involving them. That's part of what makes this page, hopefully, unique. I don't think I ever really wanted this to be just about "how to pickup women," and I certainly don't want it to be about that now.

So, when I get around to posting actual, real content, if you like it, stick with me. If you don't, well, I'm sure the information you're looking for is out there.

Best to all,
GP

My Ex-girlfriend, The Pornstar

Here she is on the cover of her latest film...